Artemis's Zombie Survival Guide
by Brief Longevity
Summary: When there's a mix-up of chemicals, there's an infection spreading that just might be the end of our heroes... Can the gang put an end to the Zombie Apocalypse? Rated for fighting scenes, language, and possible happenings in the later chapters...
1. Patient Zero

Artemis inspected the small vial in his hand, and gave it a swirl, spinning the dark black liquid inside of it around the edges of the vial. He gave a nod to himself, and set the vial into a rack that held twenty vials of the same liquid. He turned, and walked briskly outside of the large laboratory in the part of the house that most people would call a basement, and would normally be used for the storage of many, many useless items. This "basement" wasn't useless; in fact, it held more value than some entire towns, cities, or possibly even countries.

Well, value isn't always good… In fact, when something of such amazing value is put into the hands of the ignorant, it can be very catastrophic. Remember such a lesson that, as you will see, is a matter of life and death.

… Literally.

Anyway, the next one to visit the basement was Butler. He had on a chef's hat, and even an apron with "Kiss The Cook" embroidered onto the front of it. He, personally, adored the apron, but Artemis never let him hear the end of it. Well, Butler walked around the laboratory looking very confused, and picked up one of the small vials filled with a dark black liquid in it, and took it up to the kitchen, thinking it was a fine-smelling barbeque sauce that Artemis had prepared for him to put on the dinner this evening.

Little did he know that he had just made a very fatal mistake. Either way, he carried the sauce up to the kitchen, and slathered it all over the chicken breasts that Butler had prepared for Artemis and himself. Butler took his finger, and slid it across the top of his chicken breast, and licked the "sauce" off of the finger. It tasted slightly strange to him, but he thought it better of him to accost Artemis for trying to help with dinner for once. He called from the bottom of the staircase for Artemis to come down from his room for dinner, but he said that he was going to shower first. Butler merely shrugged, and walked back into the kitchen, used to Artemis not coming down for dinner immediately, if even at all. Just in case, though, he threw Artemis's plate into the oven, and set it on warm.

Butler sat at the table, utensils in hand, and began eating his dinner. He had decided that the sauce was actually pretty good with the taste of the chicken, and put as much more as he could from the vial, and even took a lick from inside the bottle, laughing at himself for being so childish. At least Artemis wasn't watching, or else he would've had blackmail material for a year. But, then, a sudden, immense hunger befell him. He turned to the oven, his sense of smell highly elevated…

Then, Butler almost leapt across the room, and to the oven. He opened the oven door, and looked at the piece of chicken sitting right there in the oven, _**begging**_ him to eat it. Or at least, that's how he thought of it. He was spurred by his hunger, and he reached his hand into the oven, and grabbed the chicken breast bare-handed. He, of course, badly burned his hand, but he didn't care about that at the moment. He ate the chicken breast as though he hadn't eaten in weeks. But the strange thing was, he felt that way, despite eating practically thirty seconds earlier.

Once Butler had devoured the chicken, he turned his head around the room, sniffing for any more food, and dove for the refrigerator. He flung the door open, and his hands grabbed any piece of meat they could find, and shoved them into his mouth, wrappers and all.

Suddenly, Artemis called down from the upper level,"Butler! What is all that noise about down there?"

Butler's head bolted towards the hallway that led to the stairs. Then, a wicked grin emerged from his face, exposing a full set of perfectly aligned teeth that were normally a bleached white, but were now covered in small pieces of meat, as well as the blood that ways in the raw pieces.

He smelt some more food…

He sprinted-not ran, _**sprinted**_- to the stairs, and locked eyes with Artemis.

"Butler, are… Are you okay?" Asked Artemis hesitantly.

Butler simply responded with a guttural roar, and ran up the stairs, fumbling over his own ankles, but still moving somewhat quickly. Artemis ran down the hallway, and to his room. He slammed the door shut, and hit a switch on the back, locking the door with an inch thick plate of steel that slide from the frame, through the door, and back into the frame onto the other side. Artemis stepped back, his eyes locked on the door. He heard a loud thud as Butler's body slammed against the door.

Artemis closed his eyes, and breathed deeply. He opened his eyes back up to see Butler, punching his way through the door, steel plate and all. Artemis looked around the room, and grabbed the keys to his car. He turned to the French doors that led to his balcony, and then looked around, looking for something to use…

His eyes landed on an industrial extension cord, and he pulled it from the wall, and pulled the cord that was attached to it off of it. He grabbed the end, and ran out to the balcony. He wrapped the extension cord around the top of his balcony's concrete railing, making sure it as tight as it could be. He then pulled the rest of the extension cord's length over to the ledge, and tossed it down to the ground. He sighed a sigh of relief when he saw that it reached the ground.

Artemis turned around, and saw that Butler was almost through the door. He turned back to the railing, and simply said," D'arvit…" and went over the railing, standing on the ledge with the very top of the extension cord in his hand. He turned back one last time, and saw Butler barreling towards him. He looked back down, and stepped off of the ledge, sliding down the extension cord as if it were a fireman's pole. He sighed again out of relief when he fell the ground beneath his feet once again, and looked up at a very angry Butler. He seemed so tempted to jump over the railing, simply because it would take less time getting to his food; but the iota of sense Butler had left told him to go in, and go down the stairs.

In the meantime, Artemis took off running. He got to the garage in no time, and got into his car- A midnight black Lamborghini Murcielago. He turned it on, and hit the accelerator just as Butler had reached him. He stood before the car, and Artemis hit the accelerator, plowing Butler over the car altogether. When Butler hit the ground, Artemis saw him getting up in his rear view mirror. He sighed, and turned on the built-in-communicator.

On the other end, a small, but somewhat deep female voice answered.

"Hey Artemis. How are things going?"

"Not as well as I would've expected…" he said, flooring the accelerator, heading for E1: Tara.

"Uh-oh… What did you do now?"


	2. For A Genius, You Can Be Pretty Stupid

_Plot is mine, the rest is Colfer's. Y'all know the deal. _

"Butler did WHAT?" Holly practically screamed into the communicator.

"He just sprinted at me, with bloodshot eyes and an insane look on his face!" Artemis said, still driving to Tara, quite flustered at the fact that this happened, and with the fact that he probably just lost his most loyal employee… And possibly his best friend.

"Hold up… I'm going to connect Foaly as well. Do you remember anything that happened before he went berserk?" she said as Artemis heard her hitting a few buttons before the third voice came into the conversation.

"Mudboy! What in Frond's name did you do this time?" Foaly yelled into the communicator.

"First off, I am no mudboy Mr. Pony-boy, and secondly, I am not even sure it is my fau-" Artemis said before cutting off and remembering what he was doing before dinner," Foaly, patch me through to the security cameras in my lab!"

"Uh… Okay?" said Foaly as he tapped a few keys on his keyboard and the view came up on the monitor on the dashboard of Artemis's car.

"Hey Arty, can you meet me at T-" Holly began before being cut off by Artemis.

"Already on my way," Artemis said before looking at the monitor, and his face turned a shade white that could compete with copying paper," Foaly… You know what was in that rack that is now on the floor in my lab?"

"No… Mind filling us in?" he said, sighing at not knowing anything about the situation, and kind of feeling like the lesser between the two genii…

"Foaly… I was experimenting with the virus for Mad Cow Disease. Those vials that are now shattered on the ground contained a very similar virus that is effective in humans. It was a miscalculation in the chemicals, and some human DNA got mix in, and the resulting liquid produced that same effect as the animal effect. I was going to dispose of them this evening, but I see that is no longer going to happen." He said, feeling a pit in his stomach grow to astronomical weight, and then whispering," It's my fault that Butler's like this."

"Yeah, well there's no time for sentimental moments. I'm sorry Arty, but what's done is done. Butler was an amazing person, but now that this happened, there's nothing we can do." Holly said, feeling bad about having to face this crisis.

"Holly's right. I'm sorry, but we need to focus on the task at hand. Where do those drains in the floor lead to?" Foaly asked, trying to pull up the schematics of the sewage system underneath the house.

"It goes into the sewage system to be filtered, and then sent out to be used by the pub…lic…" Artemis said, realizing what would happen.

"FOWL! Do you realize what this means? What is going to happen when that water gets out to the public? Those filters aren't built for your virus! This is going to be horrendous!"

Artemis simply watched the road, remaining silent, accepting.

"Artemis, I'm coming up in a shuttle. I'll meet you topside in twenty." Holly said, reminding both genii that she was still in the conversation.

"Okay, I'll see you there," he said, and disconnected the call as though it was one of those entrepreneurs calling him and asking if he wanted to buy some silverware.

Artemis continued the drive to Tara, playing some Bach as if to calm him down. He had to pull over though, as some tears blurred his vision during the most emotional part of the song which made him think about the dear friend he lost just earlier in the day. Suddenly, a thought hit him.

He reached into the glove compartment, and pulled out his cell phone. He flipped it open, and called his father.

"Father… I need you to stay on vacation with Mother and the twins." Artemis II said.

"Why Artemis? What happened?"

"Nothing. I just need you to trust me here." Artemis II said back to his father, trying to keep his voice level and strong as to not alert his parents.

"Well, okay Artemis. Just be careful," Artemis Senior told his son, knowing quite well what Artemis was able to get into.

"I will Father. Thank you," he said, pulling the phone away, and shutting it.

Artemis drove a little longer, and arrived at E1: Tara. He got out, locked his car, and walked to the crest of the nearby hill, and looked around to make sure no one was looking. He knelt down, and pressed down on a small rock, which seemed to do nothing until there was a pneumatic hiss as the rock opened up, and small Gnommish symbols appeared on the inside of the rock, and Artemis hit a few of them, and the rock returned to its form that was just that: a rock.

Suddenly, a hole opened up in the middle of some bushes nearby. Artemis walked over, and then climbed down the ladder along the side of the hole, and into the shuttleport. He touched ground, and got off of the ladder, and walked down the hallway, his head almost brushing the ceiling. He got to the docks, and got some very frightened or scared looks from all kinds of fairies. Then, Artemis turned around to Major Kelp, holding a neutrino to his head.

"What are you doing down here Mud-boy?" he asked, scowling.

"Major, I am not in the mood for this right now. Now put your gun away, and wait for Holly to appear with a visa to be down there." He said, a very tired look on his face as he pushed the Major's neutrino away from his head.

"Oh, yeah right Fowl. I'm supposed to believe you" Trouble said, scowling even deeper.

"No, you're supposed to believe this message that was just sent up from Foaly," Lily Frond said from her place behind the desk.

Trouble relaxed slightly, and lowered his neutrino before saying," You get off easy this time Mud-boy, but remember that I'll be watching you."

"Oh how I love the clichés that you are producing tonight Major. And I shall enjoy having your eyes upon me while I am in Haven." Artemis said, as he spotted Holly and nodded before going and joining her in the shuttle. As the door closed, Artemis felt the need to spin around, and give Trouble a very special one-finger salute before the shuttle left the dock…


	3. Into Haven

Holly stood beside Artemis, stifling her laughing from the moment earlier. Once she got herself under control, she looked over at Artemis.

"So I see that you have changed quite a bit Arty. Flipping off the Major? In the name of Frond, you should have used that ball-sy attitude a few years ago, and maybe we wouldn't have had as many problems!" she said, still grinning from ear-to-ear.

Artemis looked over at Holly with the best death glare he could manage at that particular moment, and replied," Well, it probably would have gotten us killed as well. The only reason I am so _ball-sy _is because I have had a _**very**_ long day. Even by our standards."

Holly's face went from as gay as one could be to having a gray cloud hanging over her head that could level an entire city with the storm it produced.

She sighed and said," I know… I'm sorry Arty."

He simply nodded in acceptance of her reply, and sat down in the co-captain's chair at the front of the cabin. Holly sat down next to him, in the captain's chair, and the shuttle dropped from the dock in the shuttleport, and they road in complete silence down to Haven. Once they arrived at the shuttleport in Haven, Holly docked the shuttle, and they got out.

"So, what should I do while I'm down here? Just walk the streets and hope the fairy civilization doesn't freak out? Or does Foaly have an idea?" he asked, rather upset still.

"Nah, Foaly actually made something for you a while back. It simulates the effect of shielding…" She said, reaching into an overhead cabinet in the back of the shuttle, trying to pull something from inside it, and finally pulling it down. She turned around, and tossed it towards Artemis.

"And where, if I may ask, should I change?" he asked, studying the suit.

She smirked and said," Right here."

Artemis turned even paler than his ghostly white appearance that he normally had.

"So, you want me to change… In front of you?" he said softly.

"Nah, I'll turned around," she said, spinning 180 degrees so she faced away from him.

Artemis watched to make sure that she didn't try to turn around, and began changing into the suit, struggling slightly considering the fabric was skin tight and was similar to leather. Holly turned her head to the right, and looked at a piece of chrome, giving her a perfect view of him changing. She chuckled silently, but stopping when Artemis lifted his head towards her. Once he was fully changed, Holly put his clothes back into the overhead cabinet and waved towards the door.

"Shall we?" she asked as the door slid open automatically.

He just nodded, and hit a button on the inside of his right palm on the suit, and he disappeared instantly. He walked out of the shuttle, but then stopped because he had no idea of which way to go to get to the Police Plaza.

Holly turned on her thermal view on her helmet, and Artemis appeared in front of her. She walked up to him, and grabbed his right hand, pulling him in the direction towards the Police Plaza. Artemis wasn't anywhere near ready for her to grab his hand, and would've been more red that Julius Root.

'Good thing she can't see me,' Artemis thought, and walking behind her, not letting go of her hand.

Holly turned around for a moment, though, and saw the large concentration of heat on Artemis's face, and snickered to herself as they continued their path to the Police Plaza. Once they were there, they both walked inside, and Holly lead Artemis to Foaly's Ops Booth. They walked in, and Foaly rolled over to Holly, and started talking to her.

"Hey Holly, I thought you were picking up Artemis now?" he asked, wondering why the teenage genius wasn't with her. During this time, Artemis had walked past Foaly, and sat down in front of Foaly's computer. Suddenly, Foaly turned around, and saw the teenage boy, who had now unshielded himself, sitting at his computer, typing away.

"FOWL? How did you get here?" he asked, now confused.

Artemis spun the chair around to face Foaly, and said," Well, you see Foaly, when a Mommy and a Daddy love each other _**very**_ much, they go off and they-"

"Yeah, I got that Fowl." He said, shooting Artemis a death glare.

"I let him use the cam foil suit in the shuttle we came down on," Holly explained to Foaly.

"Oh, I should have known," he said, then walked up to Artemis," So anyway, let's get down to business," Foaly said.

"Yes. Let's." Artemis said, pulling up Artemis's computer files onto the screen, and trifling through the separate documents. He opened one up, and a large scientific equation appeared across the screen.

"Is that the-" Foaly began, before getting cut off by Artemis.

"Yes. There is now the problem of getting this solution re-created, and finding a cure for it." Artemis said, opening up a few other programs, and running some numbers.

"Uh… Yeah, guys? What do I have to do?" Holly asked, feeling slightly left out.

"You may need to go with Artemis to get the necessary ingredients for the solution. I don't think I have any of this stuff down here… In fact, you may need to go to the surface for most of them." Foaly said, looking at the list of ingredients over Artemis's shoulder.

Holly nodded, and also looked over Artemis's shoulder at the list.

Artemis suddenly stopped tapping on the keys, and looked back at them.

"Uh, anything I can help you two with?" he asked facetiously.

"No, just go back to what you were doing," Foaly said, not pulling his eyes away from the screen.

Artemis went back to typing, and printed out the list of ingredients, and where they could be obtained. He got up, grabbed the papers, and turned to Foaly and Holly.

"Hey Foaly, mind if I keep the cam-foil suit?" Artemis asked.

"Yeah, go ahead. I got plenty more already made," he said, nodding at him.

"Okay, are you ready Holly?" he asked, looking over at her.

"Ready as I'll ever be…"


	4. On The Chase

**Above The Surface, Five Minutes after Artemis Left Fowl Manor**

Butler was still running through Fowl Manor until his brain's natural instinct told him that if there's no food where he was, he'd simply have to move to a different area. He ran off of the Manor's grounds, and towards the nearby city. Once he got there, he simply started taking bites out of every person he met, and then those people caught the virus. They went off and bit other people, and the process went on, and on, and on. Within one hour, there were over 500 people who had been bitten and turned into these mindless, very hungry cannibals.

On top of that, the virus kept spreading, and spreading, to catastrophic levels, but that is for later in this story.

**Foaly's Lab, Now**

Artemis looked over at Foaly, and nodded.

"So it's decided then?" Holly asked inquisitively.

"Yes, we MUST go topside immediately and grab these ingredients. Come, we should have been at the shuttle port five minutes ago." Said Artemis as he walked to the door, which provided a pneumatic hiss as he got close to it, and opened up.

"Alright. See ya Pony boy!" said Holly teasingly to Foaly.

"Oh shut it Hols. Remember the video I have of you at the staff Christmas party?" Foaly said, snickering.

Holly shot him a death glare, and went out of the room beside Artemis. Artemis activated his cam-foil suit, and Holly actually shielded herself to hide the pink tinge rising up behind her cheeks from Foaly's comment a few moments ago. Artemis knew that she was doing what she was doing because of Foaly's remark, and felt himself laughing at it.

Promptly, Holly turned to him, and zapped him in his backside with her buzz baton.

Holly could then feel a death glare land on her as the pair left Police Plaza, and walked down the street towards the shuttle port. They got to their shuttle, and hopped into the pilot's and co-pilot's chairs, Holly, of course, taking the first of the two. They both appeared into the visible spectrum, and Holly took the shuttle off of the dock, and dropped it into a flare. Holly looked over at Artemis during the flight, taking some entertainment in his strange faces from the speed of the ride, and how much the shuttle got knocked around. Holly arrived at the shuttle port in Tara, and they both got out of the shuttle, and walked out into the surface world. Once they set foot outside, Artemis and Holly just looked across the landscape.

"Holy shit…" said Artemis, seeing people running away from the mindless zombies that were chasing after them.

"Arty… We should go. Like NOW!" said Holly, pushing Artemis forward, and running away from the group of about five zombies that had spotted them, and were running for them.

Holly ran, turning back and pumping some shots out of her neutrino, and into the zombies. The bad thing was…

They wouldn't go down, despite how many shots she pumped into them. They might have staggered for a step, but they just kept running.

"Holly! Come on! Follow me!" Artemis said, pulling out his keys, and hitting a button on them. His Lamborghini drove up next to them, and the front doors swung open. Artemis dropped into the driver's seat and Holly slide across the hood to the other side, and got in as well. They slammed their doors shut, and Artemis floored it, shooting towards the nearest site to get the ingredients for the serum.

"Been watching some country TV lately Holly?" Artemis said, as though they HADN'T been chased to the car by ravenous freaks.

"I'm surprised you know where that's from, Artemis," she said, chuckling.

"I may not watch it constantly, but I'm not ignorant of it," he said, chuckling slightly as well.

They drove in silence for a few minutes until they pulled up to a garden store, and they both hopped out.

"Holly, you check outside for the plant, and I'll look inside of the house." Artemis said, and walked up to the door.

"Arty…"

"Yes?" Artemis asked, turning around to meet Holly's eyes."

She looked up at him meekly, and muttered," Be careful…"

"You too," he said, nodding at her.

Holly watched as he disappeared inside of the house, and she turned to the rows of plants that led all the way around the barn looking house. She pulled out her neutrino, despite how useless it may be, and held it at her side while walking up and down between the rows. Suddenly, there was a loud crash inside of the nearby greenhouse, as a zombie emerged from it. The emitted a loud growl, and bolted after her.

Holly jumped over a table of plants, which the zombie plowed into, and tripped over itself, and took a moment before getting back up. Then, it continued chasing Holly along the row of plants closest to the house, slowly gaining on her. But then Holly made a mistake…

She looked back to see if the zombie was gaining on her, and tripped over the tendrils of a large plant growing out from the base of the house.

The zombie slowed, and looked over Holly as a predator eyeing its prey. Then, it leapt at her, teeth bared…


	5. Who in the Hell needs a Bivouac?

Holly threw her arms up in front of her face, trying to protect herself. Suddenly, there was a gunshot, and the zombie flew off of Holly, and into the next pile of plants. Holly gasped, and looked over at the source of the gunshot that had just saved her life. There stood Artemis, holding a shotgun at his hip level, breathing hitched slightly, and his face looking somewhat distressed.

"Don't ever scare me like that again," Artemis said, and chuckled dryly.

Holly shot up, and wrapped her arms tightly around Artemis, practically squeezing the air out of him.

"Thank you so much Artemis. . . I would literally be dead without you," she said, releasing her death-grip on the boy.

"Yeah, come on," he said, his breath hitching as his adrenaline slowed down in his blood stream. Then, they turned around and started going from plant to plant, looking for the name of the plant hidden among the tendrils of foliage climbing over the baskets and walls that, at one point, neatly held all of the plants in a contained manner.

"Here it is," Holly said, reaching out and touching the calla lilies that were practically crammed into the corner of the room. Artemis looked around momentarily, and his eyes set on a small knapsack in the corner of the room **(Oh, how convenient XD)**. He went over, picked it up, and went over to Holly.

"Come on, put them all in. We need as many as we can get, just in case." He said, plucking the flowers from the topsoil. Soon, she was doing the same, and they quickly got all of them in the bag, and Artemis slung it over his back. They turned back the way they came, and started out of the small greenhouse.

Suddenly, they heard the sound of glass shattering from behind them. They looked back, and there was a large group of zombies coming up between the aisles, moving slowly, but persistently. Holly and Artemis jogged for the door, and then realized that the zombies had moved in front of the greenhouse as well.

"We're trapped!" Holly exclaimed, pulling her useless neutrino from its holster.

"I can see that, thank you," said Artemis, nervously.

The zombies kept coming closer, and closer toward the heroic pair in the middle of the greenhouse. Artemis fired off constant shots from the shotgun, but their numbers didn't seem to be thinning. Holly cranked up her Neutrino to its highest setting as well, and fired rapidly, but alas, it did nothing.

Then, something struck Artemis, and he began throwing down a line of plants with large leaves between himself and the zombies coming in from the front entrance of the greenhouse.

"Artemis, what are you-"

"Do it over there too! Just trust me!" he exclaimed as he continued scattering the foliage on the floor. She then followed suit, and the two were soon surrounded by a wall of green.

"What now?" she asked frantically.

"Neutrino! Low level, concentrated beam!" he yelled, picking up a large stick, and running over to her. She did as he told her, and fired the low powered beam onto the wood which then caught fire. He took the stick, and went all the way around the circle, lighting it on fire. The zombies were frozen, as if in some sort of stupor.

Now that they bought themselves some time, they needed a way out before they died either from the fire, or the smoke inhalation. The two looked around for some possibility, some glimmer of hope.

There stood a seven foot tall palm tree along the wall, its leaves also ablaze.

"Come on! This is our only chance! We have to use that tree before it burns away!" Artemis said, pulling it out to the middle of the floor. He waved Holly over, and they counted to three and heaved their bodies into the tree as hard as they could. The tree came crashing down right through the glass wall, producing the desired effect.

The two ran through the hole in the glass wall, and along the length of the greenhouse, glad that all of the zombies had gone into the greenhouse. They ran a clear shot to the car, Artemis tossed the knapsack and shotgun in the back, and they sped off.

As they drove off, Artemis looked over at Holly, and smirked.

"Who in Hell needs a bivouac when you have fire?"


	6. Deep, Dark Thoughts

_**Hey, I'm sorry from the really slow posts now, it's just that I am not doing very well medically (and therefore scholastically), so don't really have that much free time. This probably means that chapters might shorten up a bit as well. **_

The Lamborghini purred softly as Artemis drove through the Irish Hillside with complete dexterity. Suddenly, a dark thought exhumed in the confines of Holly's mind. Her face grew pale and melancholy and she couldn't help but let her eyes drift over to Artemis in the driver's seat.

'All of this… This is all Artemis's fault. He made this disease…' she thought, and immediately cursing herself for doing so.

During this time, Artemis had been looking out of the corner of his eye over at her. He noticed when she was looking over at him, and he definitely noticed the look on her face. He pulled off to a scenic overlook, and stopped the car.

"Artemis, what are you do-"

"What are you thinking of?" He asked bluntly, unclasping his seatbelt, and looking over at her.

She looked shocked for a moment, and then remembered who she was talking to.

"It's just… Why did you make this thing?" she asked, trying to be as nice about it as possible.

Artemis took a heavy breath, his gaze moving downwards.

"It… It was a project that someone had employed me to work on. Some Russian. He worked with the government, and they gave him an enormous budget, and he had heard of me. I was supposed to deliver the serum next month. The thing is, he also asked for a machine that would control the infected, which I had designed, but haven't gotten the chance to make yet. I don't know if it will work or not…"

"And the reason why you didn't say this when we were with Foaly was because…?" she asked, somewhat frustrated.

"Well, I didn't feel it was necessary at the time…" he said, a bit taken aback.

"And why would you make something like this? Even for the money! This has got to be by far the stupidest thing you have ever done! And it's even lower than the stupidest thing MULCH has ever done! And you're supposed to be the genius here!" she said, fully flipping out.

"I… I…" he said, completely stunned, and unable to respond. With that, Holly sighed, crossed her arms, and looked out the window. He sighed as well, and then started the car again. The ride up to the Fowl Manor was a very long and solemn one.

They pulled up the drive, and things automatically seemed… Off. Things were quiet. Too quiet. (Not to be cliché, though)

Artemis turned off the car, and got out. Holly did the same, and they both walked to the trunk of the car. Holly got the shotgun out, and Artemis got out the knapsack and threw it over his shoulder.

"Come on," Holly said, still angry.

Artemis sighed and nodded. He then started jogging around to the south end of the building. Holly was surprised, but then she actually looked him over. His arms were barely contained beneath his suit jacket, and his legs still seemed as long as they always were, but were a lot sturdier now. She had no doubt in her mind that Butler had taken him to the gym many times after their many escapades. She followed silently behind him, making sure to look behind them every few seconds.

Artemis led them up to the back door, and he typed in a rather lengthy code, allowing them entrance. He opened the door, and slipped inside, Holly following, before the door closed loudly behind them. They realized how deep they were in as soon as a moan resonated from the rest of the house.

"D'arvit, D'arvit, D'arvit!" Holly said, and looked around the room for something that could be useful to them.

Artemis automatically went to the drawer, and grabbed one large butcher knife, and one large carving knife.

"Come on! There are some things we can use in the basement!" he said, walking into the next room. Holly followed, and closed the door. The moaning became louder, and then there seemed to be endless pounding coming from the other side of the door.

"Artemis! Why did you get us trapped in here!" Holly yelled at him.

"Because we aren't trapped!" he said, and turned away from the door. He went over to the wall, and slid up what appeared to be just another piece of the drywall.

"A dumbwaiter?" she asked, incredulously.

"Got any better ideas?" he said, looking back at her, and picking up the two knives.

She simply sighed, and got in. Artemis followed suit, and then the door burst open. Holly pulled up the shotgun, and fired into the crowd twice before Artemis sliced through the rope holding the dumbwaiter up, and they started plummeting downward…


End file.
